“The Psychology of Habits and What May Be Holding You Back From Going Green and Healthy Living” – Part 2

Want to make a habit stick?  Let’s get to it.

Below are steps that reflect the best way to form a habit that lasts:

1. Choose one new, exciting habit.  It’s best to do one at a time.  Even Ben Franklin advised this, and he was a pretty smart guy who was known for his discipline and perseverance.
2. Create a plan – including when to expect obstacles, what you will do when you encounter them, a list of personal support team members, and triggers (more on this below)
3. Make your commitment public – including your own personal support team
4. Do this for 30 days, then reassess . . .
5. If you are still convinced of the benefits of your new habit recommit for another 30 days – by this time it’s likely you will have crossed the threshold from conscious to subconscious activity, ie your habit should be formed

Now, let’s take a closer look at these steps, and make them as explicit as possible to remove any further obstacles from your path.  I fully expect you to follow these steps, so I’ll spell them out as well as I can.

Step 1 – Choose one new, exciting habit

As you know, 1) creating a new habit is not the easiest thing to do; and 2) the creation of habits depends on the ability to increase positive feedback and decrease the negative.  These two factors taken together make for a very compelling argument to tackle one habit at a time.  And, by choosing a habit you are excited about creating, you increase your chances of success because of the emotional attachment to the benefit.  That gives you a head start when you hit obstacles along the way.

As I mentioned, Ben Franklin advised doing this.  Decision researchers have found many of Ben’s tactics to be solid, practical and effective.  Recent research suggests that deliberative decision making is most effectively done using the simple “pro’s and con’s” method.  Franklin used this method and recommended others to use it, as well.

Ben Franklin’s habit forming method involved a system of metrics.  He would list his desired habits down the left of the paper, and the days of the week across the top.  He recommended starting with one habit at a time, and working on just that habit for seven days.  Then he would add another.  It’s now possible to refine this system with the latest science that states the range of days for crossing the threshold from conscious to subconscious activity is 18-254 days, with the average time being 66 days.

I would refine this one step further, because that 66 days looks a little intimidating.  One month?  Yes, that might work.  Over two months?  If you’re like me, it just got a little harder to hit that target.  So, in order to accumulate more positive feedback, I suggest focus on making it to 30 days.  At day 30, reassess.  Ask yourself, “Can I see progress?  Am I feeling the benefits of my new habit? Is it actually getting easier to do my new habit?”  Chances are you’ll answer “yes” to these questions.  It might still be difficult, but it’s likely if you are following a plan, that the positive feedback will be outweighing the negative.  If you can answer “yes” to those questions, it will be easy to carry on and commit to another 30 days.  The psychological impact of breaking down the two months to two, one month blocks (with a perceived bailout period after the first 30 days) can be enormous.  Remember, being practical and results oriented is the key.  If you must trick yourself, by all means . . .

By the way, do you know Franklin’s habits?  They are his famous thirteen virtues: temperance, order, resolution, frugality moderation, industry, cleanliness, tranquility, silence, sincerity, justice, chastity and humility.  Every night he would review how well did.  When he failed, he would make a mark on his habit chart.  His goal was to one day have the pleasure of “viewing a clean book”.

Step 2 – Create a plan

Write the new, exciting habit down on paper.  Getting a piece of information out of your head and into the world has a subtle yet significant impact.  It seems more real when it’s on paper, and if it seems more real you feel more accountable to it.  That’s why the next step is to make it even more real and more accountable by making the commitment public.  But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Now you’re ready to list the motivations.  Imagine yourself having this habit already successfully ingrained in your daily life.  Go ahead . . . really imagine it.  Let yourself feel what that’s like.  Let yourself enjoy it.  Imagine all the possibilities you will have with your new habit.  The joy, the freedom you will feel in knowing that you can deliberately control your behavior.  Now capture all of that on paper.  Don’t worry about spelling or grammar or format (you can do that later if it’s important to you), just get it down, and record that experience.  You will need to reflect on that when times get difficult.

Now list the people you will ask to be part of your own personal support system.  Are there friends, family members or coworkers who you know will be able to lift you up or kick you in the butt when you need it?  Making a promise to your children is often a hard thing to go back on.  List the people, along with the date and time you will ask them.  Make it for the same day or the next.  Do not project it too far into the future – one or two days maximum, because you need to start to develop momentum.

Now list the obstacles you know you will encounter.  If you’ve tried to create this habit before, take a moment and reflect on that.  What happened that made you stop?  Was it a specific event?  Did you loose steam?  Why?  Now write down what you will do differently this time when that same event (or whatever) happens again, because it surely will.  What else can you imagine happening that could derail this process?  Write that down, too, along with what you will do to overcome it.  It may be that you contact a support person, or it may be that you avoid events that you know will make it harder at first to adopt your new, exciting habit.  It’s essential to list and plan for those hazards before they ever happen.  That’s how you build and store positive feedback and make your habit stick.

Now for the triggers.  If you are creating a new, exciting habit you need to associate it with a trigger.  A trigger can be any activity that regularly happens to which you consciously attach your new habit.  For example, if you want to make the habit of tidying the house attach this to an activity that already occurs, like putting your children to bed.  As soon as you finish that well established routine, consciously say to yourself, “Now I will take the next fifteen minutes and pick up and put away all that I can do in that amount of time.”  And then do it.  Put a time limit on it.  Make the habit easy and achievable at first.  Remember, you don’t need to be heroic – that will lead to failure.  Just do a step at a time.  Break it down into actionable, easy blocks.  And do that every time you put your children to bed.

If you are trying to replace a bad habit with a good one, such as smoking, identify the triggers that are already associated with that bad habit.  If it’s a cup of coffee that triggers that bad habit, then identify a new, better habit for that trigger.  Perhaps the new, better habit may be to use that time while drinking the cup of coffee to create your own Ben Franklin habit chart, and track your progress.  Brainstorm to see what will work for you.

Step 3 – Make your commitment public

Making it public does at least two things: 1) by telling others about your commitment, the natural shame/guilt function that is part of human nature is triggered, making a powerful obstacle to overcome (remember this is result oriented, it may get ugly) and 2) you can reach out for help.  There are a number of ways to do this step, such as joining groups, online support forums, getting others to join you in your habit creation process or start a blog to share with those you love.  Decide what you are going to do, make a date that you will do it, and let the help pour in.  Again, the dates should not extend for more than one or two days because you need the momentum.

Step 4 and 5 – Congratulations!  You’ve made it to day 30

Now it’s time to reassess.  Ask yourself if you’re better off now than you were 30 days ago?  By now the habit may be formed, but just in case it isn’t, re-read your motivations.  Are you still inspired?  Do you still see the benefits?  Then go ahead . . . do it for another 30 days to cement this into your “new” life.  If not, no worries.  It wasn’t what you thought it was.  But I doubt you’ll actually feel that way.

Warning: you might fail!

Oh, horror of horrors.  It really is no big deal.  It is not a time for demoralizing self-talk or self-demonizing.  Look at why you failed.  Learn from it.  Write this into your plan along with a solution for it.  And just start again.